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The Completely Insane and Totally Unreal World

By Silence

PART 16 

Scene:
Training Hall. Silia is blasting hordes of undead creatures with fireballs and lightning.  She stops suddenly as Ares appears in front of her. 

Silia: They let you out? 

Ares: Nothing gets by you does it. 

Silia: (grins evilly) Never. (Her eyes glow a bright blue and the corpses she had just destroyed begin to rise) Let’s play.

___________ 

Interlude 

????: *Wake up!*

……… 

????: *Damn it, I said get up!* 

……….  

????: (A groan of impatience is heard) *This is going to hurt you more than me..* 

(A sudden scream is released and unfortunetly no one hears it) 

End interlude 

______________ 

Scene:

Silia’s attic. Alli is flipping through a spell book franticly. Quinn and Xander are next to her impatiently.

Quinn: Have it yet? 

Allison: I’m looking.. I have to find a reversal.. 

Xander: Why not just make a spell up? 

Allison: 1. I’m not a natural magic user. 2. I’m not a freaking charmed one. And 3. If I could do that I would have already. 

Xander: Geez.. no need to get snippy. 

Quinn: Can you to stop snapping at each other? We’re on the clock here. 

Allison: I got it! (Pauses) Uh oh. 

Quinn: Uh oh? Oh no. 

Xander: We’re doomed. 

Allison: Forget the spell.. (She slams the book shut and heads for the door) We have to go help the others. 

Xander: What’s wrong? 

Allison: No time! Come.. (She stops dead in her tracks) on. 

(Standing in the door way are five rotting corpses. One is dressed in samurai armor and wielding a wicked looking blade. The others are shambling basic undead with no brains.) 

Xander: Zombies? Where’s a Redfield when you need one..

________________  

Scene:

Back in the training hall. Ares is battling undead critters as Silia watches in amusement. She starts to cackle when a sudden energy blast hits her. Silia slams in to the ground in surprise. 

Silia: Who.. (She manages to look up) You. 

(Standing in front of her are two mech armored type figures *think anime style/Iron Man sized type stuff*, Batman, and a slayer with a blaster rifle. One of the armored figures is distinctly female and she flies in to the air. She holds her arms out in front of her, palms up, and starts firing energy beams at Silia.) 

Caitlyn: Buffy, Terry! Go help Ares! 

(Buffy nods and runs off followed by Terry, leaving Cat and Stealth (the other armored one) to deal with Silia.) 

Silia: (Gets to her feet) You don’t honestly think you can beat me, do you? 

(Stealth flies at Sil and throws a punch at her. He hits her in the chest and she flies back a few feet.) 

Stealth: We can try. 

(Silia’s eyes seem to glaze over as she tries to stand. A sudden fireball slams into the ground near her, and she’s thrown once more off her feet.) 

Ares: It seems you have to concentrate to keep you little army going. 

Buffy: Too bad. I was hoping to get at least a couple of shots out. 

Silia: (Starts laughing madly) At least your little sidekicks are dead by now. 

Caitlyn: Oh no.. 

Buffy: Xander! (She runs for the exit to find it blocked by a metal covered Alli, and a ragged looking Quinn and Xander.) Your okay! 

Silia: No! How.. they were invincible! I made sure.. 

Allison: They were? Oh. We didn’t actually fight them. I just encased them in a big old metal box. Never over look the simple solutions. 

Terry: You’re not as bad as everyone thought Silia. You’re getting your butt kicked it looks like. 

(Silia just smirks and snaps her fingers. She glows a bright blue. Her former asian features and looks are now gone, revealing the queen in Ares’ orb.) 

Ares: You! Who the hell are you?? 

Caitlyn: (glides to the floor) Oh joy. This figures. We never get to go anywhere without miss evil villain bitch there showing up. 

Buffy: Um.. who is she? 

Xander: And if she’s here, where’s Sil? 

Imposter chick: The name is Spellbinder. (She receives blank looks from the housemates and rolled eyes from Alli and Cat.) ….. 

Quinn: And we are impressed how? 

Spellbinder: (glares) Hello? I’ve literally ripped people’s hearts from their chests, caused the destruction of a planet simply by opening a portal to another dimension, allowing demons to roam free. 

Ares: (shrugs) Never heard of you. 

Buffy: Me either. 

Xander: Does nothing for me. 

Allison: She’s one of our baddies. 

Spellbinder: “Baddies”?? I’m referred to as a  “baddie”? I’ve been your worst nightmare and I.. 

Terry: Oh shut up. 

(Spellbinder glares and chants a few quick words. Bright circular rings surround each of the would be heroes.) 

Terry: I can’t move! 

Quinn: What gives? 

Caitlyn: (sighs) Joy. A binding spell? How archaic. 

Xander: A what? 

Allison: It paralyzes us. 

Spellbinder: Indeed it does. Now that you’re helpless I think I’ll let my army feast on you. (She closes her eyes and chants.) I call upon the fallen. I call upon the dark.. I command those who have killed to rise and… AIEE!! 

(Spellbinder is interrupted as she is struck by a mass amount of pyrotechnics. Still dazed she is suddenly trapped beneath a batch of ice.) 

Spellbinder: Damn it! 

(The culprits, Iceman and Jubilee stand in the now open doorframe.) 

Bobby: I think she needs to chill. 

Jubilee: (groans) God.. like five minutes back in the living and already with the puns. 

Bobby: I have lost time to make up for. 

(Suddenly Jubilee falls to her knees clutching her head. Spellbinder smirks from her trapped position.) 

Buffy: What did she do to her? 

Caitlyn: She’s a telepath along with a sorceress. 

Ares: What is it with all the spell casting mind readers?? 

Bobby: Guys.. She’s gone. 

Allison: Um.. yay? 

Xander: This isn’t “yay” time. This is a time for, “Hey get me out of here!” 

(The binding rings vanish from everyone and Silia *The real one.* steps out of the shadows. Everyone just stares at her.) 

Silia: (innocently) What? 

______________  

Scene:

The rec room. Everyone is pretty much lounging around relaxing after the um.. not so big fight. Silia is sitting cross-legged on the floor, her black hair pulled back in to a long ponytail. Next to her is Buffy who is lying on her stomach, her head resting on her arms with a comfy pillow beneath them. Xander and Stealth are sitting at the table nearby. Ares is lounging in an armchair lazily. Sitting on the couch are Alli, Jubilee and Quinn. Caitlyn seems to be stuck sitting in a bright green bean bag chair, and Terry is flipping through a magazine while rocking in a well.. rocking chair. Heh. Yeah..ermm.. 

Allison: See, I didn’t bother with the reversal spell cause I noticed a message from Sil in the book. 

Xander: So that’s why you wanted to get out of there so fast! 

Terry: So then where did Bobby and you come from, Jubilee? 

Allison: (snippety) Well Terry, when a man and a woman love each other very much.. or just wanted a quickie.. 

Silia and Caitlyn: Alli…

Allison: Sorry. Hee. It was too easy an opening. 

Jubilee: Any way.. I went to check on Bobby one last time, and I found him awake and all healthy.  So after a quick explanation of what was going on, we went to the Hall. 

Quinn: Who woke you up Bobby? 

Bobby: Silia. 

Stealth: Wait a minute. When you were checking him over in the lab you said you couldn’t do anything. 

Silia: That wasn’t me. That was Spellbinder posing as me. I was busy in the weave.  Before anyone asks, the weave is like the astral plane except for magic. That’s the best way to explain it. 

Jubilee: So who put Bobby in the coma? 

Silia: Lydia. (gets blank looks) Spellbinder. Real name Lydia. I found out what was happening while in the weave. I didn’t mention it because I knew she was still around. I decided to play like the spell still had an effect on me. I ‘forgot’ that I gave Buffy the orb when her and Xander came to see me. Then I woke up Bobby, put a quick message in my spell book and waited. 

Xander: Okay.. so you weren’t all psycho queen on us? 

Silia: No. The spell only managed to get me to throw myself at Stealth. 

Buffy: And want a sudden urge to fry him. 

Silia: (a sheepish look crosses her face) Hehe.. um.. yeah. Sorry Stealth.. 

Stealth: It wasn’t your fault. The spell did it to you. 

Silia: Well.. sort of. See I could have picked who to well.. try and use..  So I decided on you. Hehe hoo.. 

Ares: Why not me? I could have at least shown you a good time. 

Silia: (glares) I don’t like you. 

Ares: What’s like got to do with it? 

Buffy: Aren’t you supposed to be in love with Xena? 

Ares: (to Buffy) Shut up! (turns to Silia) Why him then? 

Silia: (sighs) Can we drop this? 

Allison: (perkily) No. I want to know why too. 

Bobby: Yeah, why not me? I’m a loveable guy.

Silia: (rolls her eyes) Oh brother..  Fine. Stealth was the closest guy near by. Happy? 

Stealth: (dryly) Gee thanks. 

Silia: Oh come on; don’t take it as an insult. So I chose to try and seduce you no big thing. 

Stealth: It wasn’t a seduction. It was a really forward and extremely bad come on. 

Allison: (wistfully) Oh.. I wish I could have seen it.. 

Terry:  (to Alli) What is it with you and wanting to see people make out?? 

Allison: Shut up Terry! You swore never to mention that! 

Stealth: We didn’t make out! She attacked me. 

Silia: (miffed) So now I went from bad come on girl to attacker?

Stealth: (groans) Oh lord.. I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. 

Silia: (annoyed now) A likely story. Men always say one thing then mean another. (She stands up and stalks from the room) It’s no wonder I don’t bother to date! 

Caitlyn: (shouts to Sil) And that’s why you’re so sexually frustrated! If you dated you wouldn’t have been so desperate! 

Silia: (shouting back) SHUT UP!! 

Stealth: Desperate? Is that a cheap shot at me? 

Xander: I don’t think so, but do what I do. Smile, nod, and pretend everything’s dandy. 

Buffy: (turns to Xander) Smile and nod? You do this often? 

Xander: Uh… never to you? 

Buffy: Good answer. 

Ares: (mulling over Caitlyn’s comments about Silia) Frustrated? (He grins and teleports away in that wondrous god like way of his) 

Terry: 20 bucks says Silia beats him up him. 

Jubilee: 30 says she puts him in another orb. 

Buffy: I say she kills him. 

Caitlyn: (to Stealth) She thinks you’re cute. Heehee. 

Xander: Am I the only one who still wants to know who the spell was for?

Get me away from here before I go insane!