An average day of..um.. what season is this any way? And how long have these people been here? Erm.. any way, Bobby has been set free, but he’s decided to stay cause.. well.. hell it’s not like Marvel (praise be to them ;p) is actually using him now.. I mean who REALLY cares if Nightcrawler is going for priesthood.. and who cares if Rogue and Gambit broke up and are both leading the two X-teams.. I mean it’s all.. erm.. I’ll go away now. 

Once again, I repeat, an average day in the unreal house.. 

Buffy is bounding down the stairs of the front hall to see Alli run by screaming. 

Buffy: What the..? (Her jaw drops as she sees a giant teddy bear chasing Alli with an ax.) 

Allison: RUN!! IT WANTS THE COOKIES!!!! FOR GOD’S SAKE, DON’T LET IT HAVE THE COOKIES!! (She runs out the front door and the teddy bear follows her) 

Buffy: (Her mouth open and in shock) That was new. 

Xander: Buffy! 

(Buffy looks back up the stairs to see Xander heading towards her. She smiles brightly at him.) 

Buffy: Hi Xander. 

Xander: So what is on the agenda today, my slayer gal? 

Buffy: Avoid Alli and her new friend. 

Xander: (confused) Huh? 

Buffy: Never mind. (She takes his arm) Let’s go see what Ares cooked for breakfast.

___________

Scene:

The kitchen. Silia, Jubilee and Bobby are avoiding the stove and looking through the cabinets for food. Buffy and Xander walk in and look confused. 

Buffy: I thought Ares was cooking. 

Jubilee: He did. (She points to the stove) One word for ya. Gross. 

Bobby: I have a word for it too. Sh.. (A box of crackers hitting his head interrupts him.) Ow! 

Silia: Watch the language, snowflake. 

Bobby: Not fair, I’ve heard you say worse. Like last night in your room.. 

Xander: (teasing) And what were you doing in Silia’s room? Was it something that.. 

Buffy: Xander? Mind out of gutter please. 

Xander: How do you know it’s in the gutter? 

Buffy: Isn’t it always? 

Xander: True. Okay strike that comment from the record. 

Buffy: (takes a look at Ares’ meal.  A look of disgust appears on her face) Ewww. What IS it? 

Xander: (takes a peek) And is it still alive?

(Ares appears in the kitchen and just glares at everyone) 

Ares: It’s oatmeal. I saw that Alice woman on tv fixing it. 

Silia: That’s oatmeal? It’s like.. breathing. What in the hell did you kill?? (She shakes her head and starts to leave.) And I thought Cat was bad.. 

Bobby: Aren’t you going to eat? 

Silia: Ehh.. I’m going to town for breakfast. Any one want to come with me? 

Buffy: Me. 

Xander: Take me! Please. 

Bobby: If you’re paying, I’m going. 

Jubilee: I’m for it. 

Ares: I should be hurt by this insult.. (He takes a look at his own creation. He turns to Silia.) I’m going too.

_____________  

Scene:

Meanwhile.. about 15 minutes after the others left.. Quinn has just left the kitchen in disgust. He’s on his way back to the lab… *ever wonder what exactly him and Cat really do in there??*  The doorbell rings so naturally Quinn answers it. He opens it to see a man about 5’6 with a balding head and a black suit on. The man looks to be in his 50s and is grinning like crazy. 

Quinn: Can I help you? 

Man: Does an Allison Warren live here? 

Quinn: Uh.. yes.. what did she do now? 

Man: Do? She’s done nothing! In fact she’s our grand prize winner! 

(Alli comes running in the hall again. She’s breathing heavily and looking a little winded.) 

Quinn: Alli, this guy says you won something.. 

Allison: (shoves Quinn out of the way and greets the man) Hi! I’m Allison Warren. What did I win? 

Quinn: Excuse me, but… 

Man: (Paying no attention to Quinn) My name is Jeremiah Mercury.  (He holds out a slip of paper) And this is your entry slip that you filled out last month for our contest. 

Allison: I entered something? 

Jeremiah: The entry box was at the mall. 

Quinn: Isn’t there.. 

Allison: OH!! Cool! So what did I win? 

Jeremiah: You’ve won an all expenses paid trip for six to our new Evan's Island Resort!! 

Quinn: Alli… 

Allison: (screams excitedly) WAHOO!!!!!!! (She hops on to Jeremiah and gives him a hug. Then she starts bouncing around the front hall squealing) This rules!! 

Jeremiah: (clears his throat) Erm.. yes. (He hands her an envelope) Here are your plane tickets, and your vouchers. (He grins) And have fun! 

(He leaves and Alli is still excited. Well.. she is until she hears a familiar thumping. Her face falls and she starts running away, leaving Quinn in the hall.) 

Quinn: (sighs) Don’t you have to be at least 18 for contests like this? 

(Before Quinn can dwell anymore the giant teddy bear burst in the room. Except now.. it’s got a chainsaw.  Quinn takes one look and runs to the lab as fast as he can.)

______________ 

Scene:

The library. The entire house is in the room discussing Alli’s prize. Well not everyone. Alli herself is missing. Buffy is sitting at an antique table along with Xander, Terry, Jubilee and Bobby. Cat is sitting next to Quinn on the steps and drawing schematics for something in a small notebook. Stealth is sitting in an armchair flipping through an old text lazily. Silia is at her desk; an ancient looking thing with a mystical design carved along its wooden frame. She’s leaning back in her chair with her feet propped up on the desktop. 

Quinn: I’m telling you, it doesn’t seem right. 

Ares: Who cares? (He leans against the wall annoyingly close to Silia’s desk.) Let her have fun. 

Buffy: Please. You’re just on her side because you want her to take you. 

Ares: I’m a god. I can go anywhere I want. Anytime I want. 

Terry: HA! Not as long as Sil can kick your butt. 

Ares: (glares at Terry) I can still beat you, you little punk. 

Terry: I’d like to see you try old man. 

(Ares looks ready to kill the resident bat boy but one ‘ahem’ from Silia changes his mind.) 

Xander: Guys.. We’re missing the important issue here. 

Jubilee: (Runs a hand through her now short hair) Issue? What issue? 

Xander: Who’s she taking with her! 

(Several of the housemates start arguing about who she should take. Before it can get really bad, Alli runs in to the room screaming with the bear behind her. However now the bear has a light saber. As soon as it enters the room Ares throws a fireball at the bear and it hits the wall. The saber flies from its paws and Stealth picks it up. He heads over to the bear. He swings the light saber with ease and the bear’s head flies off with stuffing flying everywhere.) 

Bobby: Whoa. That is uh… 

Terry: Disturbing? 

Bobby: Good enough. 

Stealth: You okay, Alli? 

Allison: (She flops onto the floor tiredly and smiles in relief) Perfect. You an Ares totally saved my ass. Wanna come with me on the trip? 

Terry: Well, now two spots are taken. 

Stealth: I haven’t said I’d go… 

Silia: Well I’m going. Some one needs to chaperone. 

Caitlyn: Count Quinn and me out. We’ve got too much going on in the lab. 

Quinn: Speaking of which.. Cat did you turn off the accelerator to structure number seven? 

Caitlyn: (her eyes go wide) Oh fu…(she teleports away) 

Bobby: I’d ask to go.. but that Ashley agreed to go on a date with me. She’s a babe. No way I can pass that up.

Allison: Um.. you mean Ashley as in our Ashley? 

Bobby: Yeah. The cute one that talks to Cat. What’s wrong with her? 

Silia: Nothing. (She flashes a ‘look’ at Alli) She just has less of a social life than me. 

Ares: Is that possible? 

Silia: Do you want to keep your powers Ares? If so, shut up. 

Terry: Well I want to go. 

Allison: (glares at Terry) Nuh uh. No way I’m taking you. 

Terry: Why not?? 

Allison: (ticked off at him) You know why. 

Terry: You can’t hold that against me forever! 

Allison: Yes I can. 

Terry: Oh fine. Be that way. 

Allison: I am that way. You want to come Jubilee? 

Jubilee: No can do. Wolvie is going to stop by and visit.

Allison: Cool! 

Bobby: He is? He’s going to love it here.. hehe. 

Allison: Okay then, Buffy? Xander? Come with? 

Buffy: Sure. Might be fun. 

Xander: Hey, if Buffy’s there then so am I. 

(Alli turns to Stealth her eyes pleading) 

Allison: Come on Stealth.. you’re the only one left. Pleeeeeeaaaaasssssseeeee come? 

Stealth: I don’t know.. 

Allison: Pretty please? I’ll be your best friend. 

Stealth: (Groans) Oh god..

Allison: I’ll make you some really neat weapons.. I’ll buy you a car. I’ll give you a kidney. I’ll.. 

Stealth: I give up. I’ll go. 

Allison: YAY! You can be Silia’s date. (She skips away whistling cheerfully.) 

Stealth: WHAT?! 

Silia: I DO NOT NEED A DATE! (She buries her face in her hands) Kill me… 

Where did my wallet go?