PART 18

Scene:

Ahh yes the trippers are on their way. Planes oh mighty planes. The gang has just boarded the plane and is now staring at the six seats. Three by the window and three in the middle. 

Silia:  I ‘m not sitting next to Ares. 

Ares: Why not? 

Buffy: Me neither. 

Silia: Ok. Then the guys can take the middle and we ladies will take the window side. 

(After a bit of muttering from Ares about him and the window seat everyone relaxes for the flight.) 

Fifteen minutes in to the flight. 

Woman: WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!! 

Child: I WANT A COOKIE! 

Jar-Jar: Meesa gonna fly the pl..acks! (Jar-Jar shuts up as he’s engulfed in flames) 

(Ares stands at the front of the plane watching the chaos with a smile. He waves a hand and an old man starts beating the pilot with a walker.) 

Ares: Now this is a fun flight. Now where are the women? 

Xander: Ares.. 

(Ares snaps out of his daydream with a snort.) 

Ares: What? 

Xander: Can you try not to drool on me? 

Ares: (glares) Shut up before I.. (A magazine hits him on the head) Damn it! 

Silia: (grabs another magazine and starts reading) Ares…. Don’t be a brat. 

(Ares glowers at her and stalks off.) 

Xander: She has good aim. 

Stealth: (looks up from his book) What? 

Xander: Never mind. 

10 minutes later in the cockpit. 

Allison: I’ve always thought a pilot was the sexiest kind of man... 

Pilot: I’m not taking you out. 

Allison: Why not? 

Pilot: You’re a kid. 

Allison: So?

Pilot: It’s illegal. And immoral. Not to mention you’re annoying. 

Allison: (pouting) Pooh. (She turns to the other pilot) Hey c.. 

Pilot 2: I’m married 

(Alli glares. She looks pissed off but then an evil smile appears on her face.) 

Allison: Hey since you won’t date me, will you date my guardian? 

Pilot: Is she cute? 

Meanwhile…

Ares: Why won’t this damn door open??? Let me out of here… 

(He pounds on the bathroom door and keeps trying the handle. On the other side of the door is Silia leaning against the wall a smirk on her face. She walks away humming happily. She goes back to her seat and sees Xander next to Buffy. Silia shrugs and sits in Xander’s seat.) 

Stealth: (to Silia as she sits down) You seem.. cheerful. 

Silia: (grins) Yes indeed. 

Stealth: Why? 

Silia: My little secret. 

Stealth: …… 

Silia: What? 

Stealth: Nothing. 

Silia: K. Whatever. Nothing can bring me down now. 

(Alli comes back grinning from ear to ear.) 

Allison: Hey, Sil, I met this way cute pilot and he’s like so dreamy ya know? Well I had to fend off his advances cause he thought I was just irresistible, but I showed him your picture and now he wants to know if you want to have dinner. So? 

(Silia’s face goes blank and she buries her face in her hands with a wail. *She’s doing this a lot lately…*) 

Stealth: Well I think we can call that nothing. 

Across the aisle… 

Xander: Come on Buffy.. only you can give it to me. 

Buffy: No I can’t. 

Xander: Please? 

Buffy: Xander.. I can’t. 

Xander: Please, Buff? I need it. 

Buffy: I can’t give you your Twinkies because I left them in the car. 

Xander: (his face falls) Oh my poor babies.. 

Buffy: Sorry Xander.. I just forgot. 

Xander: It’s okay. I’ll (fake sob) get over it. 

Buffy: (shoves him playfully) I’ll buy you some as soon as I can. 

Xander: Oh no, this is going to take more than that to make up for it. 

Buffy: (stares at him cautiously) What’s this going to cost me? 

Xander: Oh.. I’d have to say.. dinner. 

Buffy: I’m not cooking. 

Xander: I mean.. you. Me. Dinner. Out. 

Buffy: (her eyes grow wide) A date? 

Xander: (getting nervous) Well.. yeah. But if you don’t want to we.. 

Buffy: Okay. 

Xander: What? 

Buffy: I said I’ll go. (She grins suddenly) About time you ask me Xander. 

Xander: What? You wanted me to ask you? 

Allison: (interrupting) Duh. Everyone knew. 

Xander: Everyone? Sil? 

Silia: (stops her wailing) Yes. We can’t all be oblivious like you Xander. 

Xander: Hey! I bet Stealth didn’t know. 

Stealth: (Doesn’t look up from his book) I knew. Drake told me. 

Ares: (sits himself down next to Stealth) Hell I knew. 

Silia: How’d you get out of the bathroom? 

Ares: A flight attendant named Kelly unl.. hey.. YOU DID THAT TO ME?!! 

Silia: Damn straight I did. 

Buffy: You locked Ares in the bathroom? 

(Everyone starts giggling and laughing or in Ares case fuming and in Stealth’s case looking mildly amused. Alli looks up from her giggling fit to see a familiar face walk down the opposite aisle. She lights up and follows.) 

Silia: (calms down. She groans) Alli’s gone again. 

Stealth: (smirks) Probably went to get you another date. 

Silia: Oh shut up.

__________ 

Interlude.

Scene:

Cat’s lab. Ashley has just arrived and she’s wearing a yellow crop top, black leather jacket, black leather pants, and a smashing pair of black boots. Her brown hair is loose and slightly mussed up. Nonetheless she looks good. She’s barely started to leave the area when the COM blinks. 

Ashley: (presses a button) You’re speaking to Ashley the Perfect, how can I help you? 

(A gruff looking man with wild hair and.. oh hell it’s Wolverine damn it. ;p He’s wearing his typical casual ensemble okay?) 

Wolverine: I’m lookin for Jubilee. 

Ashley: Hang on a sec. (she taps a few buttons and reads something.) It says here she went with Bobby to pick up some groceries. Anything I can do for you? 

Wolverine: Ever think of firing that portal up? 

Ashley: A visit? No problemo. 

(She taps a few more keys and a sudden flash is seen on screen. The portal activates and Wolverine steps through.)

Wolverine: A warning next time. 

Ashley: (Shrugs) Sorry. (Her face brightens) Hey.. since they aren’t back yet you want to play? 

End interlude

______________ 

Scene:

The plane once more. Alli is now sitting next to the one and only Leo. He looks deeply annoyed. 

Allison: I adored you in Growing Pains. I hated Titanic though. Kate Winslet’s character was such a whiney little wench.  I can kick her ass. Oh! But I absolutely loved Man in the Iron Mask though! It was like so cool! “Where’s Porthos going?” “Out to the barn to hang himself.” Or something like that. I cracked up! 

Leo: That’s nice. (He's pressing the flight attendant calling button repeatedly) Come on.. 

Allison: I even saw The Beach. I liked it. Do you have a girlfriend? Because I’m available and.. 

Leo: GOOD GOD, LEAVE ME ALONE! 

(Alli’s eyes go wide and she looks ready to burst in to tears. Her eyes narrow suddenly and she pulls a metal tube from her jacket pocket.) 

Allison: With that temper no wonder Lucas passed on using you. Not that it matters since he’s killed the franchise now. (She presses a button on the light saber and it fires on) This is as close to a light saber as you’ll ever get you no talent jerk off with a paycheck that doesn’t even equal my allowance.. 

(She raises the light saber to strike the now cowering and crying Leo. She’s knocked over by Stealth tackling her. The saber flies through the air and Silia pulls it to her hand telekinetically. She turns it off and does a quick mind wipe of the event on the passengers.) 

Allison: Oh come on!! 

Stealth: You can’t just kill him! 

Allison: Didn’t you see Titanic??! 

Stealth: Alli.. 

Allison: You’re no fun. 

(Stealth groans and heads back to his seat, leaving Alli sitting on the floor pouting.) 

Allison: Turkeys.

Where did my wallet go?