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The Completely Insane and Totally Unreal World

By Silence

PART 2

Scene: The dining room. 

Caitlyn is none other than the red head from the kitchen. Allison is sitting next to her, bouncing her head up and down to some tune in her head. Next to her is a tall young man with brown hair. Across the table are Buffy, Xander, and Jubilee. At the head of the table is an asian woman with long ebony hair. 

Asian woman: Ok. This is time for us to get to know each other a bit better. We’ve spent the day settling in to this place, and now we really should talk. Who wants to start? And no secrets. We share all and everything. Got it? 

Young man: I’ll go first, Silia. 

Silia: (nods her head to him with a slight smile) Ok, Quinn. 

Quinn: Ok. Well, I’m a scientist and an inventor I like to think. I invented this device that allows one to travel to parallel earths. I was sliding, that’s what we call the whole thing, with my brother Colin and friends Rembrandt and Maggie. A similar vortex pulled me out of the tunnel and in to that field.. 

Jubilee: (rolls her eyes) Dude, she wants us to talk about our selves not how we got here. 

Silia: Actually I just want everyone to talk, Jubilee. 

Xander: What about you little Miss Twinkie stealer? 

Jubilee: (sticks her tongue out at Xander. Composes herself and takes a drink) Well, I’m a mutant. On my earth mutants are feared and hated for our abilities. I’m a former X-Man.. so this isn’t too big of a deal. I was blading on school grounds when wham! Portal thing opened up I tripped and fell in. 

Xander: (his eyes widen and he hits the table in triumph) I knew I recognized you! 

Everyone: Huh? 

Xander: On our world you’re a comic book character! 

Jubilee: Coolness. 

Quinn: X-Men? They were comic books on my world too. 

Silia: Ours too. Just like Quinn’s sliding was a tv show for us. 

Quinn: Really? Wow. Did we ever get home? 

Allison: Yeah! I remember that episode! It was where mmfh!! (Caitlyn’s hand clamps over the girl’s mouth) 

Caitlyn: Sorry none of that. We don’t want to screw up the whole continuum and all. 

Silia: Ok. Buffy? Why not tell us about yourself and Xander. 

Buffy: Well I’m a freshman in college and your basic ordinary student. 

Allison: Liar! 

Buffy: What? 

Allison: You’re the Slayer duh! 

Buffy: What? How did you know? 

Silia: (takes a long drink from her wine glass) Another tv show on our earth. 

Caitlyn: Yeah. Silia was a fanatic about it. She had the biggest crush on Xander. 

Silia: (glaring) Gee thanks, Cat. Remind me to drive a katana blade in to your back tomorrow. 

Caitlyn: You know I’m teasing. (turns to the others) That was back when we actually had time to watch tv. What.. 3 years ago before our little adventure? 

Xander: (turns to Silia) You had a crush on me? How bad? Did it involve.. (Buffy whaps him lightly) Ow! 

Silia: Look what you’ve started Cat. 

Allison: She used to have a crush on Quinn too! 

Silia: Alli! Who told you? 

Allison: Lynn did. (starts giggling) And your crushes on Spike, Doyle, Giles, and that Riley guy. 

(Caitlyn starts giggling shortly followed by Buffy and Xander) 

Buffy: Giles?? Oh god! That’s just.. 

Xander: Wrong? 

Quinn: A crush on me? Wow. Hey.. 

Silia: (grabs the wine bottle next to her and glares) That’s it. I’ll be in my room if anyone decides to act mature. AND GET THAT THOUGHT OUT OF YOUR HEAD ALLISON! (storms off) 

Allison: Oops. 

Xander: You act like she really can read your mind. 

Caitlyn and Allison: She can.

_________________ 

Camera room. Silia sits in the chair. Her left arm propped up on the armrest. Her chin is resting in her palm. She’s waving her right hand in the air and creating shapes of mystical creatures made out of a purple flame. 

Silia:  It’s going to be hell. This next year I mean. I know it. Good god. (shakes her head) If I kill some one.. It’s not my fault.  God I need some demon to kill.. maybe I should conjure up one.. Bah. I suppose I should tell about what’s going on. I’ll do one better.

(she starts to chant and a whirling mist fills the room) 

Silia: (not seen) I’ll show you.

__________________ 

Scene: The not so empty field. Everyone from the house is there and Silia is off to the side alone. The others are arguing about what’s happening. 

Silia: Enough. (she walks over to them) We already know how we got here. 

Buffy: Yeah through that vortex. I thought I was being sucked in to hell. 

Silia: (Turns to Cat) Can you send us back home? 

Caitlyn: Of course! (what seems to be a laptop from the future suddenly appears in front of Caitlyn. It floats in midair and glows as she starts typing) 

Quinn: How did you do that? 

Caitlyn: I got it from the greatest scientific mind in the universe. 

(Suddenly what seems to be a little girl pops out of nowhere. Her hair is bright red and extremely spiky. She grins) 

Genius: That’s me! (she disappears before anyone notices her) 

(Quinn watches as Caitlyn works. Jubilee is talking with Allison. Buffy and Xander are whispering. Silia seems to be talking to herself.) 

Caitlyn: Uh oh. 

Buffy: Uh oh? That’s not good. 

Xander: Uh oh is NEVER good. 

Jubilee: It’s better than ‘oops’ though. 

Silia: What’s wrong? 

Caitlyn: Well.. according to my calculations, combinations of the portals along with the energy from each earth.. 

Silia: Cat… 

Caitlyn: Sorry. Any way apparently this earth has a defense mechanism for this type of thing. Problem is we kicked it in. No one comes in. No one goes out. 

Buffy: We’re stuck here?? 

Caitlyn: For now. Give me time I’ll get us home. But.. 

Xander: Oh no there’s a ‘but’. 

Caitlyn: My calculations say the protective field won’t be stable enough to break through for at least a year. 

Everyone except Allison and Silia: WHAT?! 

(Everyone is complaining about the problem now. Alli just ignores everyone and starts practicing her sailor moon type monologue. Cat wanders over to Silia.) 

Caitlyn: (whispering) I saw you mumbling. Testing magic? 

Silia: *As a matter of fact yes.* 

Caitlyn: *Oh switching to the telepathy oh fearless leader?* 

Silia: *I hate that term. Alex is a bad influence on you.* 

Caitlyn: *Hey. He’s my twin. What do you expect? So? Magic capable to get us home?* 

Silia: *No. Something’s blocking me from casting teleporting spells. If I get more attune to this earth’s magic spectrum maybe.. but that could take awhile. Don’t say anything about me being able to send anyone home. I don’t want any one to get their hopes up.* 

Caitlyn: *My lips are sealed. Preferably if it involves Quinn there..* 

Silia: *CAT! Shame on you. I didn’t want to see that thought.. a whip??* 

Caitlyn: *Heh.. sorry.  I may be a genius, but I have a normal guy fixation.* 

Silia: *Oh lord.* 

___________________________    

(Mist covers the scene again. As the mist fades Silia is back in the camera room again.) 

Silia: After that, Cat and I fixed up a house. With the works. Luckily there’s a nicely sized town nearby. They even have a mall. That’s a plus. Keeps me from having to kill Alli for whining about her shopping addiction. 

(Silia looks up suddenly.) 

Silia: Alli, why are you at the door? 

Allison: Um.. Can we go shopping tomorrow?

Get me away from here before I go insane!