PART 22

Scene: Black void. A small table is set up and a shadowy figure and Alli are drinking tea.

Allison: So then Terry decides to jump off the roof to ‘save me’. I lose my balance and we fall into a garbage truck.

Shadow: Ugh. Poor thing. Good reason for hating him now.

Allison: Oh. I don’t hate him. I’m just mad.

Shadow: You can’t just treat him like dirt forever, honey. It was a simple mistake.

Allison: (Sighs) I know but…

Shadow: You need to forgive and forget honey child. Then make out… err make up.

Allison: (nodding) I guess you’re right. So what do you plan on doing after this?

(Before the shadow figure can answer a small pair of white mice walk in front of them. The tall thin one starts munching on one of Alli’s cookies giggling. The short one with the large head looks rather annoyed.)

Brain: Silence says you were supposed to have started the scene 5 minutes ago. (Muttering) First Elmira, now this. Such demeaning tasks for my intelligence. Come Pinky! We must prepare for tomorrow night!

Pinky: Why, Brain? What will do then?

Brain: Same thing we do every night, Pinky. (Sighs) Fetch Silence drinks and run errands. And then… TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!

(The mice wander off, theme music playing. Alli and the shadow figure shrug and get back to work. Alli lays herself on the ground and the shadow figure returns to, well duh. The shadows. Where’d you think it came from? The freaking cookie jar? Geez.)

Allison: (gets back up) I can’t do this.

Silence: (The same 12-year-old from before comes out again) Damn it, why not?

Allison: I’ve lost my concentration. Can’t you skip on to someone else?

Silence: ………..

Allison: Oh come on. You know full well you have no idea what you were writing here!

Silence: Well they didn’t know that you jerk!

Allison: They do now. Now go read something that won’t rot your brain like your own work does.

Silence: (Bursts in to tears) I HATE YOU!!! You’re so mean to me!!

(Silence keeps wailing and is led away by Terry Bogard and Tuxedo Mask, who are glowering at Alli and trying to console Silence.)

Allison: Yeah yeah. Glare at me all you want harem boys. (She sticks her tongue out at them) Nyaah!

________________

Interlude

Silence: I try *sob* so hard and *hiccup* they treat me like dirt. *sniffle*

Terry: (Pats her on the back) It’s okay. We know you try.

Darien (Tuxedo Mask): They just don’t appreciate you like we do.

Silence: (Smiles weakly and wipes the tears off her face) Thanks. You guys are the best. No wonder I can’t give my harem up.

(A handsome, if scarred, vampire comes into the room. His long golden hair is covering most of his face. )

Asher: (in a wondrously dreamy french accent) Would you like me to kill them, chere?

Silence: Thanks, Asher but no. Then I wouldn’t have a story.

Ares: (from god knows where) YOU DON’T HAVE MUCH OF ONE NOW!!

Silence: (Frowns) Get him.

End interlude

______________

Scene:

The resort. Silia and Buffy are looking through Buffy’s wardrobe for her and Xander’s date.

Buffy: Is red too slutty? (She holds up a dress that looks like it should be illegal in at least 48 states)

Silia: In that case yes. (Holds up a floral print sundress) This?

Buffy: When the heck did I pack that?

Silia: I’ll take that as a no.

(The door flies open and Ares tumbles to the floor beaten and bruised.)

Buffy: What the hell happened to you?

Ares: Harem… pain… ow.

Silia: Never insult Silence while her boys are near.

Ares: They… how can they beat me? I’M ARES!!

Silia: (tosses another dress to the already foot high pile of ‘nos’) Terry defeated a god in his world. The god of war in fact. Besides, Silence’s male harem not only has cute guys but overly powerful and superhuman beings. I’m surprised Bobby didn’t show up to freeze you or something.

Buffy: Iceman’s in the harem? (Discards a green sweater on to the pile)

Silia: Oh yeah! Most of the X-Men guys are. Silence has a ton of unseen fics starring Iceman. He’s always a hero in them so he’s pretty protective of her.

Ares: I’m still in pain here.

Buffy: Go ask Silence for a medkit or something.

(A voice off screen is heard.)

????: STAY AWAY FROM HER MEDKITS!!! The chainsaws… brr…

Ares: What in Hades was that?

Silia: (She shrugs in reply. Her eyes light up and she pulls out a sleeveless crimson dress with slits at the sides of the skirt.) This?

Buffy: Ohhh love it! You think Xander will?

Ares: If he doesn’t, can I kill him?

Silia & Buffy: NO!!

Ares: (crawls out of the room) Damn women…

_________

Meanwhile back at home…

McDonalds. Washu (surprisingly in her adult form) and Terry are working behind the counter. A woman stalks over to the counter dragging her child.

Woman: I found a chicken head in my Mcnuggets.

Terry: (yawns and looks around bored) And I’m supposed to what… care?

Woman: You… I want my money back!

Washu: (interrupts the screaming woman) Ma’am there’s nothing to worry about. I’ll take care of it right now. (she whips out a small remote control and presses a button. Suddenly the ground shakes and the ceiling is ripped off the building by a large mech.)

(The mech aims a large rifle towards the woman and as she screams it fires. The chicken head in her hand is obliterated and the woman screams and runs out. As an after thought she runs back in and grabs her child.)

Terry: Son of… WASHU!!!

(The manager walks in, his geeky eyes wide.)

Manager: Miss Washu this is the second time today! And this is your first day! You’re fired.

Washu: You can’t do that! I’m the most brilliant person in the universe!

Manager: I’m sorry but… YOU’RE FIRED!!

Terry: (laughing) You got fired! HA!!

Manager: (turns to Terry) You’re fired too.

Terry: Why me?

Manager: You have an attitude problem.

___________

So we go back to the resort right? And see Alli’s missing, Ares is beat up, Silia is doing god knows what, Same with Stealth only not with Sil so get your mind out of the gutter. And Buffy and Xander are on their date! Finally!

Buffy and Xander are walking around the resort all dressed up and pretty like. They’ve had dinner already because I’m too lazy to write that scene down now. ^_^

Xander: That was… interesting.

Buffy: (nodding) Yup... It… Oh god. I can’t fake it.

Xander: Me neither. Silence is really pushing it. These scripts of hers… it’s like she’s not even trying!

Buffy: What happened? I mean this was all fun but now... it’s… like she’s forcing stuff down and it’s just not pretty.

Xander: What’s her problem any way? She leaves us for months at a time expecting us to be satisfied with lack luster scrip…AGHH!!! (Xander is pulled through the shadows by some kind of freaky set of arms)

Buffy: XANDER!!! (She tries to reach for him but is dragged away by yet ANOTHER set of arms. She struggles in vain and her necklace snaps off in the process.)

(The hallway goes silent and no sign of the couple remain except the lone chain on the carpet.)

________

And in a faraway land… ok… so it’s a few halls down, Stealth is wandering the resort himself. (Okay so he wasn’t doing god knows what. Well... at least I don’t think so. I can ask though!)

Silence: (Jumps out of a doorway and in front of Stealth. Except instead of a 12-year-old girl she’s an elf.) Hi!

Stealth: (warily) And you are?

Silence: It’s me Sil. Don’t get all questiony about how I look different. Any way, I wanted to know what you were doing.

Stealth: (walks around her and keeps going) I was looking around.

(Silence trails after him with a pencil and note pad in hand.)

Silence: Why?

Stealth: Incase you forgot, you DID write us in here with a villain.

Silence: Oh I didn’t forget. I just wanted to know why bother? I mean you could look all you want and you find him unless I want you to.

Stealth: (He stops and turns to her.) Then why am I doing this?

Silence: Because I want you to. And see I—

(Silence stops in midsentence and her eyes stare straight ahead. Behind Stealth. She swallows nervously. She points weakly behind him.)

Silence: Um… I think I lost control of the story.

(Without turning around, Stealth grabs Silence and begins to run in the opposite direction of whatever was there.)

Stealth: You do realize, this is your story.

Silence: Yes… but um... I wasn’t going to have anything come after you. I was planning on you get turned in to a girl.

Stealth: What?!

Silence: KIDDING! Um... turn left!

Stealth: That’s a dead end.

Silence: Is not.

Stealth: Yes it is.

Silence: IT IS NOT!

Stealth: (Turns left in annoyance.) Left it is. If it’ll keep you quiet.

A few minutes later…

Silence: If you say I told you so, I’m going to kill you.

Stealth: I’ll save it for later. Come on. (He grabs her arm and breaks down the nearest door. Luckily it’s empty and he pulls Silence toward the window.)

Silence: We are NOT going out the window.

Stealth: Yes we are.

Silence: NO WAY. We’re on the fourth floor!

Stealth: Would you rather deal with whatever it is that’s after us?

(Silence thinks it over. She ‘hmms’ then she starts for the door.)

Silence: I’ll go around him? Heh.

Stealth: (He grabs her AGAIN and he takes her out the large window with him.) Nice try.

(As they jump down from the ledge, a gigantic shadowy creature murks through the doorway. It reaches the window just as a loud splash is heard from below.)

Silence: YOU JERK!!!

____________

Interlude…

(A young woman steps onto the scene. She has dark skin the color of hot chocolate practically and shoulder length black curly hair. She bows in an asian traditional way.)

Woman: Hello there. My name is Kasumi Monroe. Most call me Kay or Blitz. I’m second in command to Silia. I’m here to take over narrating this story, as it seems Silence is now a bit busy. So I’ll try to keep the "quality standards" here. If you’re wondering exactly who I am, I’m a superhero with super speed ala The Flash. I’m also trained in several forms of martial arts, thank my mother’s side of the family. I’m half-asian (my mother is chinese/japanese) and obviously I’m african american too. (That would be dad’s side.) Any way, now that you know a little bit of useless information about me we can move on in the story.

End interlude

___________

The same hallway that Xander and Buffy disappeared from… Silia is walking along when she spots the necklace on the floor. She crouches down and picks it up.

Silia: Uh oh. This can’t be good.

Ares: (he shows up behind her) What’s not good?

Silia: This is Buffy’s.

Ares: Do I care?

Silia: You asked!

Ares: I’m trying very hard to get some action. Is it working?

Silia: No it is not. Go take a cold shower.

Ares: It didn’t help any!

Silia: ….. Sigh. Go away. I have to track them down.

Ares: How are you going to do that without your powers?

Silia: I have my ways. (She smiles evilly and flecks of purple glitter in her eyes.)

(Ares steps back. He looks at her in confusion.)

Ares: What are you?

Silia: Whatever I want to be. (She turns and walks away.)

Ares: Wonderful. Now she’s starting to scare me.

(Blitz zooms in and waves.)

Blitz: So that’s it for this part! What will happen next? Will Stealth and Silence escape the shadow creature? Will Ares ever get laid? (an off screen crowd can be heard saying "No!") Will Alli be okay? Where are Buffy and Xander? And what’s wrong with Silia THIS time? Well, I know the answers but I’m not telling! See you around!

You still make no sense.

And yes I own Blitz. SHE'S MINE DAMN IT! Thank you.