PART 23

While the tripees are busy, those at the house are having problems. We go now to the cheap motel room they’ve been using to access the lab. And when I say cheap, I mean "Good lord. This is one cheap ass place."

So, in a tiny room in a cheap motel, where the wallpaper is peeling and the carpets are icky, are our non-trippers. Washu is sitting on the bed near the pillows in her young form and eating some ramen from a foam cup. Caitlyn is next to her and flipping through the TV guide and munching on some Ritz crackers. Ashley, Bobby, Wolverine, and Terry are playing poker at the small table near the door.

Terry: Bet the others are having a blast. (sets four cards down) Give me 4.

Wolverine: (deals out 4 then takes a long drink of his beer) The way thing are going in this dimension, I put my money on them getting in to trouble.

Bobby: Who cares? I mean, they have Silia. She can take care of anything. Right?

Ashley: Sure she can. Unless she goes insane and Chaos takes control of her some how and she slaughters everyone and then tries to release Shin-Kai demons who rape and kill everything in sight.

(Everyone looks at the android in horror. Washu’s ramen slips from her chopsticks. Cat continues to munch on crackers and read.)

Caitlyn: (frowns at a page in the guide) Jessica Alba. Ew. She can’t act her way out of a paper bag.

Bobby: Um... could she actually go psycho on us?

Caitlyn: (Looks up. Blinks in confusion.) Jessica Alba? I suppose so. That’s why I have the monkey revolution ready.

Wolverine: North Pole meant your Sil friend.

Washu: (puts her ramen on the nightstand and rubs her chin in thought) It is possible according to all the data Cat has given me. I’d say it’s unlikely however. Unless say, she had something taken from her, causing her to weaken and be susceptible to an outside force.

Terry: This is Silia. There’s no way that could happen.

Bobby: Yeah. No way that’d happen. (Laughs at the thought of Silia losing it.) I bet they’re having the time of their lives.

__________

Back at the resort….

Silence (the elf/author) and Stealth are wet and have just climbed out of the pool. Silence is pissed off and glaring at Stealth. They start to leave the pool area and they ignore the stares from the vacationers.

Silence: YOU SUCK YOU KNOW THAT?!

Stealth: I just saved your hide and you yell at me?

Silence: It’s not like that thing could hurt me. Hello? (Waves a hand in front of Stealth’s face) I’m the author damn it. I may be stuck here at the moment, but I’m not hurtable here!

(At that moment, Silence runs into a lawn chair and falls forward. Stealth catches hold of her before she slams face first on to the pavement.)

Silence: Owie. That hurt my leg.

Stealth: You were saying something about not hurtable I think.

Silence: I hate you. (She wrenches free of him and screams as she spots the shadow creature looming around the corner.) RUNRUNRUNRUN!!!

(With a sigh, Stealth grabs her hand and pulls her into a run and they head towards the opposite direction, which leads to the gardens and mazes.)

____________

And now let’s visit with Jubilee and Quinn who have managed to find work at Toys R Us. God help the customers.

Jubilee is restocking a shelf of Barbies when a small boy walks over to her.

Boy: Do you know where my mommy is?

Jubilee: No. I’m sorry kiddo. Want me to help you find her?

Boy: But daddy says Mommy ran away with a girl with black hair called a ‘she-bitch’.

Jubilee: (Her jaw drops in shock and she narrows her eyes.) Excuse me?

(A man, apparently the boy’s father comes running towards them.)

Man: There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you!

Boy: Hi daddy! Is this the she-bitch?

(The man begins stuttering and trying to apologize, and the little boy keeps referring to Jubilee as she –bitch. The whole time Jubes is getting more and more pissed.)

Man: Son, apologize to the nice stock girl.

Boy: But daddy, I thought she was the She-Bitch!

Jubilee: That is it! (she raises her arms up and paffs the father and son to such an extreme, the shelf catches on fire)

(Screams start sounding off in the store and a fire alarm goes off)

Jubilee: Oh crap.

___________

Back at the motel…. Washu is in Cat’s lab. (They happen to be using the closet door to get there.) Cat is with her and they seem to be toying with the portal machine.)

Caitlyn: See, I figure we can boost the power of this puppy and teleport a new house in the old ones place before the others come home.

Washu: (nods) It could work. We’d have to set up everything on the grounds though.

Caitlyn: Not if I give the computer the exact coordinates on where to send the house.

Washu: And do you happen to have the coordinates?

Caitlyn: (takes a small tattered notebook from her lab coat pocket. The book is sloppy and has pages half falling out.) It’s somewhere here…

Washu: Oh brother. Give me the numbers.

Caitlyn: (flips through the pages and muttering) Where is it… oh! (Her eyes light up) Got it! (She hands the paper to Washu.)

(Washu looks it over and then programs the computer. She presses the start button and the portal activates.)

Washu: (Turns to Cat) You DID remember to put in the house’s location. Right?

Caitlyn: (Blinks at her and an embarrassed look floods over her face) Oops. I knew I forgot something.

(Washu’s eyes get big and she falls over in that wonderful anime way)

__________

On yet another parallel Earth, a submarine is traveling the oceans… It’s the year 2032 and we’re going to see those in the mess hall. Ensign Lucas Wolenczak, Lt. James Brody, Warrant Officer Anthony Piccolo, Seaman Dagwood, and Cmdr. Jonathan Ford are eating lunch. Fun no?

Piccolo: What is this stuff? (A look of mild disgust is on his face as he looks at his tray)

Lucas: (shrugs) Do you really want to know?

Brody: You could analyze this stuff and we’d still have no idea what it was.

Dagwood: (shrugs as the others are complaining about the food and starts scarfing down food.)

Ford: Come on guys, we’re soldiers. We’ve had worse.

Brody: Since when is bread purple?

Piccolo: (pushes his tray away) Oh that’s it, I can’t eat this. I’m gonna be sick.

Lucas: Well do it somewhere else, I don’t feel like walking around smelling like you.

Piccolo: Funny. I think—

(Piccolo is cut off as a huge portal (like you didn’t see this coming) opens up. It does its purty swirling color thing and a bright light fills the room. It fades and Dagwood, Piccolo, Brody and Lucas are gone. Cmdr. Ford is staring at where they were sitting, his mouth open. Everyone else in the mess hall is silent, wondering what just happened.)

(Captain Oliver Hudson enters the room. He’d seen the light while walking down the corridor. He glares at Ford.)

Hudson: What the hell happened here?

__________

Back at the resort… Silia is wandering the grounds in search… of well, something. She stops in front of a lovely mermaid fountain and trails a finger in the water. Suddenly, A shot is heard and Sil looks up in time to see a portal open and a uniformed man fall out.

Silia: (Sighs. She kneels down to the guy and taps him on the shoulder.) You okay?

(He slowly gets to his knees and looks around in confusion. Silia hides her grin as she happily notices how cute he is.)

Soldier: Where am I?

Silia: Probably not where you’re supposed to be. (She stands up, and she holds her hand out to help him up. He gives her his hand and gets to his feet.) I’m Silia Vanya.

Soldier: Lt. James Brody of the UEO vessel Seaquest.

Silia: Well then Lt. Brody, welcome to hell.

Brody: What?

Silia: Never mind. Come with me. I think I can explain things. I hope.

(Silia leads Brody away and just as they leave the area, Silence and Stealth come rushing out of the nearby mazes.)

Stealth: Remind me never to listen to you again.

Silence: It’s not MY fault you fell into that rose bush!

Stealth: You pushed me.

Silence: I tripped!

Stealth: Sure you did. (looks around) Any sign of that… thing?

Silence: (playing with the hem of her sleeve) Beats me. I’m not really paying attention.

Stealth: You should be. Whatever it is isn’t just after me.

Silence: (shrugs) I don’t care. I want to go home. I want a nice cup of hot chocolate and I wanna cuddle up to Miss Edith.

Stealth: Who?

Silence: Stuffed penguin doll.

Stealth: Oh. Come on, we better find Silia. Maybe she can make sense of things.

Silence: Or maybe she’ll jump you again. Bet you’d enjoy that wouldn’t you.

Stealth: (annoyed) Cute.

Silence: I know I am. But remind me again and I’ll give you a cookie.

__________

Back at Cat’s lab….

Piccolo, Dagwood and Lucas are standing in front of the vultures known as Washu and Caitlyn as they circle them.

Washu: You realize that this isn’t a house, Cat.

Caitlyn: Good thing too. It would’ve landed on the motel.

Washu: (snorts) Would’ve been a record Cat. 2 buildings in a row.

Lucas: (looks around the lab in awe. He’s in tech heaven) Whoa.

Piccolo: We’re god knows where and all you can say is "Whoa"?

Dagwood: Lucas can say a lot of things.

Piccolo: That’s not what I meant, Dag. Hey you, Red. Not the kid, you. (he points to Cat)

Caitlyn: (stops her pacing) Yes?

Piccolo: Where are we?

Caitlyn: My lab.

Piccolo: And that would be where?

Caitlyn: A side dimension placed in between realities and planets.

Lucas: That’s not possible. There’s no technology for that yet.

Caitlyn: There is around me. Washu hey… Washu…

Washu: (she’s next to Dagwood and looking over him, her eyes starry.) Ohhh! A GELF! I haven’t seen one of these in years! What’s you’re name?

Dagwood: Dagwood. I’m a prototype.

Washu: (grins) Wonderful! I’m Washu. The greatest scientific mind in the universe! This is my friend Caitlyn Morgan. I suppose you could say she’s second to me.

Caitlyn: (shrugs) Probably not. I’m at least in the top twenty. (She notices the uniforms the men are wearing.) Seaquest? Huh. That’s way off my coordinates.

Washu: (begins circling the guys with an evil grin) Who are you two?

Lucas: Ensign Lucas Wolenczak. (he looks Washu over with a roll of the eyes.) YOU’RE the greatest mind in the universe?

Washu: (nods) And you can call me Little Washu! (she grins and turns to Piccolo) Name?

Piccolo: Tony Piccolo. What are we doing here?

Washu: It was an accident. We’ll get you home. After you be my guinea pigs.

Caitlyn: Washu!

Washu: Okay okay. We’ll send you home now.

(Her and Caitlyn wander back to the portal, and Washu whips out her laptop thingee much to Lucas’s delight. The teenager is practically salivating over the tech. The scientific duo rev everything up and the portal opens.)

Caitlyn: There we go. One ticket back home. Sorry about this I was just—

(She breaks off as the portal suddenly hisses and snaps shut. A second later the controls short circuit and blow up.)

Caitlyn: MY PORTAL!!

Washu: HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!

Caitlyn: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

(The Seaquest trio glance at each other)

Lucas: I get the feeling we aren’t going to get home anytime soon.

Geez girl...
Oh yes... Seaquest belongs to um.. whoever has the rights to em. Cause, it ain't me. ;p